Twenty-six words tainted with our love
by mitaharukai
Summary: Twenty-six words tainted with the love and pain of Natsuki and Yuuko through their story


The story of Natsuki and Yuuko through a serie of words in no particular chronology order.  
Some of the moments of the story, are based in my other fic "(I think) you're my favorite sound"  
And now, enjoy it!

* * *

**Twenty-six words tainted with our love**

**A - Air**

You're standing outside the school doors, taking some time while looking up at the sky and wondering if you'd be able to get home at time before the storm breaks in, when somebody passes right through you in a hurry. You're about to complain to that person when you see her hair lingering in the air, filling your nostrils with her fragrance and your heart with her laugh, and somehow, you wonder how she could be like the air: sometimes fresh, sometimes intoxicating.

**B - Broken**

You can't help but stay standing there, staring at her as she's crying inconsolably after getting her heart broken. You raise your hand in an attempt to reach out for her, to comfort her but lower it again not really knowing what to do. You feel so impotent watching her crying her heart out and not being able to comfort her or know what to do to make her feel better, yet you're mesmerized seeing her so beautifully broken.

**C - Competition**

You couldn't understand the importance about bands and playing an instrument around, hell, you didn't even understood all the fuss formed after the first year students left the band, yet you choose to stay after all, not really knowing the reason of it. Maybe it had something to do with seeing her all days even if she irritates you, maybe with the admiration you felt for Nozori but maybe it all has to do with the feel of belonging somewhere, with the feeling of happiness and excitement that comes off with learning and playing a new song and the personal satisfaction that brings it. Yeah, you definitely like the adrenaline of performing in front of everybody in a competition and give your best at it. And maybe, just maybe, a band competition is not the only one afore you, is not the only one you aspire to win no matter what...

**D - Date**

It took you some time to ask her out, not only for her continuing negative answers but also for your lack of bravely, afraid of not only rejection but also humiliation as she showed in the first attempts when laughing at the idea of you asking her out but you weren't going to back down so easily until she gave in and said yes.

And here you are, sitting in front of her while drinking some milkshakes and talking like normal people o all the normal you two could be in between bickering and lame jokes and you couldn't be more happy to continue to pursue her into agreeing to go on a date after everything. You definitely could like this, could like to sit with her talking about everything and nothing and hear her laugh as much as you can.

**E - Enough**

It's always Kaori. No matter the conversation, the place or anything else, she's always talking about her senpai, "Kaori-senpai this, Kaori-senpai that", always dazing about her admiration for her, how perfect she is, fangirling all the time about her crush and it gets in your nerves so much that you start to wonder if she would ever see you. If she would ever have eyes for you, only for you and not for her because no matter how much you try to get her attention, to help her, to cheer her up, to be there for her no matter what, it's always Kaori, and you're starting to doubt if you'd ever be enough for her. You're starting to lose hope thinking you'd never be good enough for her.

**F - Fight**

This is your first fight and of course it has to do with Kaori, the band and your lack of compromise. You two might have been dating for a while now but you obviously keep not being comparable with her senpai, hell, not even with the rest of the band. You're too lazy to put some effort in the band activities or even pass the audition, you're too lazy to take her on dates, more elaborated ones at least, you're just a lazy girl that doesn't give a fuck about anything.

She knows that's not true, fuck, you know that's not true but she's just so angry at you for not putting enough effort into the band and this thing going between you two that doesn't mind about saying all those hurtful things but not for saying that it means you don't care, that you don't try enough. You start to refute her argument when the fight breaks in and it's all about yelling and accusations, until tears start to fill her eyes and you know if you don't do something, this fight would end costing you to lose her and you'd be damned to let her go without trying, without fighting for her, for making things better and work, for putting effort into all this.

**G - Girlfriend**

As astonishingly as it sounds, you two have been dating for already three months. Three long months of getting to know each other, not only the way you two are or act at school and at the band but the real you. Of course you two keep bickering from time to time but perhaps that's just the way you two work out and you wouldn't trade it for anything else.

It's the day of your three months together when you decide to surprise her by stopping over her house to take her and drive her to the place of your first date. You want to remember it all over again, how awkward but special was, you want to see her smiling shyly but relaxed, you want to see how different she was in that day and how much you ended liking it...

As the date ends and you took her back home, nerves start to take over you, making you unsure of how to say the words that hang on the tip of your tongue. So when she's about to enter at home, you take her firmly but softly by her wrist and say "be my girlfriend", seeing surprise written all over her face. There's what seems an eternal and awkward silence that leads you to think of a rejection, before her lips are on yours in a soft kiss then you see her fondly smiling at you.

\- What an idiot girlfriend I have - and with that, she turns around, leaving you dumfounded in front of her, now closed, front door.

As you go back to you car, your phone beeps with a new text: 'in case you didn't fully understood it, it's a yes. I'll be your girlfriend, idiot'. And then all nerves and doubts disappear and turn into a wide smile.

**H - Hands**

You never realized how perfect you two were for each other until the re-auditions day, when you found her crying in the bathroom, seeing her vulnerable because of somebody else hurt her and decides to press yourself against her back, afraid of hugging her and break her completely.

Even though it broke your heart to see her like that, you found a certain peace hugging her from behind, resting your head against her hair as you took her hand in yours, lacing your fingers and it was in that exact moment, with your fingers intertwined and in such quiet calm, when you realized how her hand perfectly fits in yours, how even though you two are completely different, are so perfect for each other. It's almost like she's made to be with you.

**I - Idiot**

The first time she calls you idiot, it's aimed to be an insult which should make you be offended at it but when you look at her and see the way she puffs out her cheeks with her arms on her hips and a look of pure frustration and irritation directed towards you, you can't help but smile, to much of her dismay, at the image in front of you and find her, not only terribly cute but adorable and like the way she calls you idiot. And that's how it became something common for you both, to use the word idiot more like a pet name rather than as an insult.

Guess after all, it's true you're her idiot.

**J - Jealousy**

You don't know what it is, or maybe you do but won't admit or say the words out loud afraid of making it real but you definitely don't like the way she talks about her, the way her eyes shine so brightly when she looks at her. You don't like the way Kaori approaches to her in between jokes and giggles and softly strokes her arm or the way she lowers herself to her ear and whispers something that makes Yuuko blush... You try to take a deep breath and repeat yourself they're just friends but how can you believe those words when they're so close, when Yuuko looks at her like she's the entire universe and beyond?

Yuuko is not yours, you two are just friends but that doesn't stops this pinch of jealousy that settles in your chest every time she talks about Kaori and her perfection, that affection in her voice and adoration. It's like Kaori is her whole world and would only want to be with her so nobody else exists, nobody else compares to Kaori or would be able to make her happy or anything close, and slowly, that jealousy turns into sadness knowing you won't have a chance against Kaori.

**K - Kiss**

Your first kiss happened so quickly and unexpectedly you barely can't remember the taste of her lips against yours. The seconds kiss was just a tease of the many one that would follow in time, a little one on the corner of your mouth as your first date ends and she quickly disappears behind her house door, giggling. Your third kiss is simply perfect. The way her lips melts with yours in a slow but passionate kiss. The sweet taste of strawberry that drives you completely crazy, craving for more of it, making you desire her lips on yours for an eternity...

**L - Love**

Love, such a funny word, what does it means? How do you know if you're loved?  
You only know the love of your family, maybe of your friends but you constantly wonder if anybody else would be able to love you, because of you and not because what they want or pretend you to be. You also wonder how would be to love somebody with everything you have and not be emptied because of it. You wonder what would be to get your heart broken because of it and hope you never know that feeling.

So when you're with Yuuko, you think you know what love could be or feel. You think how perfect would be to be with her but you're scared of it, you're scared of getting hurt or ruining everything between you two because you can't love her the way she would dream of or deserve.

And one day, much of those fears come true when she's talking, again, about Kaori. You might have been together for half a year but she still keeps mentioning her in every conversation she can and you wouldn't be bothered by it if she talked about her in a friendly way but something about the way her face lights up at her name, the affection in her voice talking about how perfect Kaori is , etc makes you wonder if she's still in love with her, makes you wonder if she wants to be with her as Kaori is the perfect one, the best one out there for her... You can't help but feel not worthy of her or her love.

\- Please Yuuko, stop - you beg her, tired. You can't stand more of this, more of Kaori, more of her perfection and such.

\- What's wrong baby?

\- Is this funny to you? Are you enjoying messing with me so much when you're desiring that hard to be with Kaori?

\- What are you talking about Natsuki?

\- I'm talking that I'm fucking sick of hearing about how perfect is Kaori in every single conversation we have. I'm saying that if she's so fucking perfect and nobody could be compared to her, why the hell are you with me then? Is this a twisted game to you? - you see her face, she's so oblivious to everything you're saying. You should be sorry to explode like that but you couldn't care less, you need to say this, she needs to know how much this hurts you.

\- Natsuki, I don't want to be with her. She's my friend, my _friend_, do you hear me? Of course I care about her and adore her, I admit I have a certain adoration or admiration for her and I wouldn't have minded to be with her but it's not like that, not anymore at least.

\- So you admit you would have liked to be with her, yet as you can't, you have to settle for me, is that? God dammit, this is a fucking game to you after all. I'm so stupid, you don't give a fucking damn about me, neither my feelings.

You are so angry. You really can't stand this anymore, this conversation, this feeling of replacement so you turn around to leave when she runs right in front of you to stop you from leaving, staring at you fiercely.

\- You're a stupid idiot. I'd never play with you or your feelings, why the hell do you think I'm with you and not with her?

\- Obviously because she's out of your reach and you have to settle for somebody else, so here I am, the only stupid one to confess to you and be a pity replacem-

You don't even get to end the phrase before her hand connects with your face, with a loud noise, surprising both of you. When you take a good look of her, tears are running down her angry face.

\- You're a fucking asshole. I love you, you not her, _you_. I'm with you because I want to be with you. Don't ruin this because the insecurities you have. She's my friend but you're the one I love and want and choose to be with. Yes, I thought she was perfect, that she could love me and nobody else could be compared with her, nobody would be better than her ever but she wasn't like that, she wasn't near perfect or anything, she was the opposite so being her friend was the best and only option. I had fascination for her as a friend, as a bandmate which admiration can't be explained because her talent playing trumpet but just that. If there was something else, I wouldn't be with you, I wouldn't play with the girl I liked and got to love, never. Please, don't ruin this, don't do this to us - she says, tears still running down her face as she gets closer to yours and reaches out to caress your cheek.

Your breath gets caught in your throat and you can't help but feel like you're ruining this. You're so scared, so insecure about Yuuko leaving you for somebody better, for her eternal crush that you let that get into you and bring the worst out of you.

\- I'm sorry. I'm scared to lose you - you admit, closing your eyes as you rest your face against her hand.

\- Why? - she asks softly, giving you a little peck.

\- Because I love you.

**M - Moon**

Tonight the moon is bigger than usual, shinning brighter than ever and it's perfect to stay the night at home with your girlfriend watching some movies together at bed in complete calm. As soon as she leans back against you, resting her head in your chest and takes your arms to place them around her, holding her with your fingers intertwined, you forget completely about the movie ongoing. You smile tenderly at her, kissing her hair as your fingers kind of start to play with hers, not minding about the movie at all.

As the movie advance, she starts to lose interest in it, no wonder why since it's quite boring, and starts to gain interest in you. Her head begins to move along your chest until her nose finds the crook of your neck, earning a little giggle from you. She giggles back and proceeds to kiss your collarbone playfully, advancing up until she grabs your face softly to kiss you. You smile in the kiss, following it with many more and slowly, you end laying on top of her, getting lost into her emerald eyes. You both want it, you can feel it but it feels so intimate at the same time that makes you both doubt about it...

Your lips rests on hers in a caring kiss trying to transmit everything you feel at the moment, trying to calm her down and let her know it'd okay. Her hands slowly but trembling, start to wander up through your sides under your shirt, giving you shivers at the contact. Soon your shirt is flying over the bedroom as hers follows close enough. You stay above her, looking at her intensely, unable to contain the feeling she provokes in you seeing her so beautifully vulnerable.

Your fingers dance across her smooth pale skin, sensing her excitation and reach her breast, tentatively touching it. You hear her gasp and see her biting lip, driving you crazy, making you crave for more of her touch and the caresses of her skin against yours.

Slowly, you take off her bra as she does the same with yours and get lost in the mounts of her body, so rounded, so soft and perfect for your hands to grab and massage them... she blushes so brightly, looking at other side that you have to grab softly her face to make her look at you, kissing her softly while your hand keeps massages her breast, absorbing in your mouth the sounds of pleasure she makes.

Gently but shaking, your hand keeps advancing down to circle her waist and adventure timidly into the band of her pants and underwear, looking up at her for a confirmation to follow or stop there. She nods, biting her lip and soon you two are completely naked, staring at each other with nothing but vulnerability in your eyes but also an intense fierceness and lust that ignites your bodies. You're craving for each other, for each touch, each brush of your skins, each kiss...

And that's how you both, tentatively but sure, start to explore each other bodies more intensely, paying attention to every little detail, every scar or freckle, memorizing it in your mind, in your touch, in your heart... It's perfect the way you make love and feel so incredibly loved and comfortable with each other skin, the way your bodies dance along the other in slow rhythm and your voices sing each other names in perfect harmony and synchrony before laying down for pure exhaustion but happiness, tangling yourselves around the other, pressing your naked bodies together with the moon as witness of your love for each other.

And with the rays of the moon illuminating your faces, sparkling vividly your eyes as they look into each other's souls, you two share a slow but passionate kiss before falling sleep in each other's arms with dream land as destination.

**N - Naked **

The sun seems brighter than ever today or maybe it's because its reflection in Yuuko's blonde hair. She's snuggled completely against your front, with your hands intertwined across her waist while smiles happily as she dreams about who knows what and you can't help but feel your heart burst at the feeling of having her in your arms, completely protected against anything hided outside of them. You smile and snuggle closer to her, kissing lightly her shoulder blade and smelling the sweet aroma of her shampoo and fragrance, it's funny how she's always smelling to vanilla when her lips taste like strawberry, such a sweet combination, just like her, sometimes.

Your thumb strokes her hand, content with the feeling of being like this with her and slowly, you untangle from her to admire her naked figure. Although part of her is covered up by the bed sheets, you still can appreciate her figure and her naked back. The little faded freckles on it and the curve on her spine, so deliciously craving for your fingertips to kiss it, to write your story, dancing along her skin...

A soft giggle and murmur breaks you off the trance and you see her sleepy eyes looking at you softly and her owner turning slowly to hide herself again in your arms and you smile widely at it, feeling her beating inside your soul.

\- Good morning, beautiful - you whisper softly, afraid of waking her up completely but she ignores it and kisses you sweetly, pressing your naked bodies completely together and smiles at it, blushing furiously, before hiding again into your arms and rest there for a little more time.

**O - Opposite**

You two are quite the opposite. She's responsible, organized, passionate... you could go on and on in an interminable list of adjectives to describe her, while in the other hand, you're quite de opposed, you're a truly disaster and lazy and that's why everybody thought you two would never work out, neither as friends nor as girlfriends. Yet here you are, with time, with fights and reconciliations, still together and maybe that's the key of your relationship, to be so different that you can't have time to get tired of each other but only push harder towards the other, it's like a magnet, the more opposite you are, the more you two get attracted.

**P - Passionate**

You never understood the passion with which people talked about the things they like so much until one day in class, a girl with a ribbon in her head started to go on and on about music and particularly, trumpets. It might be a boring topic o hard to follow if you don't know anything about how to play an instrument but the way her eyes sparks so brightly talking about it, the soft and slow gestures she does with her hands and her breathing as a demonstration of her capacity to play such instrument, awakes something in you. You'd never admit it but that day, seeing how passionate she was about playing an instrument and such, was what really made you want to be part of the band and not your admiration for Nozori-senpai.

With time, you learn she's not only passionate about trumpets but something else.

**Q - Questions**

You always have been proud of being so confident about yourself but lately you've been thinking about her, filling yourself with doubts and questions. Late at night your mind escapes to remember her smile and the way her voice pierces your soul and give form to your feelings. Why does she feels so close yet so far from you? Why do you want so badly to gain her attention, to recognize you and be somebody special for her? You're always trying your best for that, for her, you're aiming at her heart and shooting constantly to fail and see how she escapes. Why is so hard to let her go when she's looking at you so close, so softly and concerned, asking if you're okay because you've been observing her without throwing any insult? Your mind it's full of questions that only she can answers.

**R - Ribbons**

The first time a girl with a ribbon in her head crosses your path, you can't help but find it amusing. Who in their right mind would go to secondary with ribbons in their heads like a little kid? Nobody, but there she goes, walking like she owns the place and not minding about the staring or the laughs she provokes. Part of you admire her for that, the other part simply thinks she's insane.

Years pass by and she keeps wearing those stupid ribbons. At this point, you already got to know the girl, her name and hobbies, etc and the more you know her, the more you wonder if her wardrobe is entirely made of ribbons or still has some other piece of clothes to wear aside from ribbons because each day, she wears a different one and you swear she never repeated any.

It comes a day, after being in the same band for some time when she has the audacity to push you aside, angry to yell at you because you're too lazy to be part of the band. She might be better than do, more skilled to play an instrument but doesn't mean you're not trying to learn the instrument. You sigh, not wanting a confrontation but she keeps talking about God knows what, you failed to listen to her rambling a little time ago when she starts poking your chest gaining your full attention. Bothered by it, you just take her by the wrist to stop her and pull her face very close to yours and when you look at her eyes, you kind of lose it. You want to tell her a lot of things but you simply choose to get rid of her ribbon, seeing her hair falling down and her shocked face about to protest. You just observe mesmerized by the sight in front of you and stay in silence, before saying:

\- You look better this way and not with those stupid ribbons that I want to tear apart so badly - kind of grumbling before leaving the place quickly, with a strange feeling in beating inside your chest and that angelic image printed in your brain.

**S - Smile**

Hearing her laugh was so beautiful it became your favorite sound but her smile... her smile became your favorite sight. So relaxed, so precious, so infectious... Every time she smiles, you get lost in it and your breath gets caught in your throat, making you sometimes hard to remember how to breathe again. The way her smile reaches her eyes and sparks them so vividly, you swear she can make anything bad go away just with her smile...

Your favorite ones are the spontaneous, the ones she's trying to hide so hard to not let you know a lame joke of yours is making her happy because she has to pretend you irritate her but she can't. You also like the confident ones, those are so sexy, seeing her so sure of herself but then she stumbles and sadness start to paint her precious face and you can't do anything but run with lame jokes to prevent tears from dulling her vibrant eyes and that radiant smile she always wears as the perfect complement to her ribbons.

**T -Trumpet**

The same evening of the day you heard her talking about trumpets, you started investigating about the instrument, fascinated by it and with the resolve of going to the band class next day with the tiny hope of got to see her playing the instrument for real. Big mistake, as soon as Asuka-senpai saw you peaking out of curiosity at the door, she dragged you inside and persuaded you to play the euphonium and that's how you ended learning it and entering in the band, not that you minded though. That's how every day, you got to hear her playing the trumpet and make you forget about the world and your problems with the sound of it and her image playing. Of course it also came with the bickering after knowing each other more and the jealousy caused because of Kaori-senpai but that's nothing compared with the feeling that evokes in you when she's playing the trumpet and her happiness, it's nothing compared to the future of you two together.

**U- Umbrella**

Here you are, another day standing at the schools doors, this time waiting for the rain to stop enough to be able to run to the train station then home without arriving completely soaked. You sigh and sit, with your head resting in your hand, looking up at the sky. You don't mind rain, in fact, you really like it, except when you forgot your umbrella at home. Suddenly, the fabric of an umbrella it's hiding the sight of the rain and a her voice is filling your ears.

\- Did you forget your umbrella at home, idiot?

Of course, it had to be her and of course she had to insult you. You sigh and nod, not in the mood to argue and see her standing still above you with her umbrella over you both.

\- Come on idiot, walk me home - she says, grabbing you by the arm to stand up and lacing them together, hugging you close by it and starting to walk towards home being sheltered of the rain by the umbrella. Perhaps forgetting your umbrella wasn't so bad after all.

**V - Vice-president**

You have no idea what came to Asuka's mind the day she decided Yuuko and you would be a good pair to be in charge of the band but here you are, listening to Yuuko's speech about being the candidate to be the president and waiting patiently to see the horrify face she would put as you have to stand up and announce your nomination as vice-president. Surely it's not ideal, you aren't that much responsible after all but this would be interesting.

**W - Words**

Today is your fifth anniversary and you want to surprise Yuuko with something romantic when she comes home from work. As she enters, she finds in the receiving a letter with clues of where to go. Each clue contains a word to describe your love story, a word tainted with your love but also the pain of it. As she follows the clues, you hear fainted phrases of incredulity, others of laugh and her steps approaching to your bedroom to find it filled with rose petals and a single red rose laying in the middle of the bed. As she's distracted smelling the rose with her eyes closed, you hug her from behind, kissing the side of her head.

\- Welcome back beautiful - you say as she rests herself comfy against you.

\- Aren't we romantic today, my sweet idiot? - she says giggling but delighted with such demonstration of love.

\- Maybe.

You two stay like that for a while, with the soft melody of the songs you both performed together at the band in secondary as background. As "Crescent moon dance" starts to play, you know it's the moment you've been waiting all day, for some months. You take her hand in yours and turn her eyes, looking right into her eyes the entire moment and kiss her lips softly before saying the so expected words:

\- Yuuko Yoshikawa, would you honor me by being my wife and dance through life with me forever? - you ask her nervously and see her shocked face and the way her eyes shine brightly at it, filled with happy tears.

\- Yes!

**X - X-ray**

You can't remember what happened, one second you were running with the ball in your hand, ready to score a basket and the next second, a girl appeared in front of you out of nowhere, knocking you down, hitting the floor in the process. The only thing you could feel at the moment, was a sharp pain in your ankle and the agonic yelling of your girlfriend before everything went black. When you woke up, Yuuko was right there by your side, grabbing a little bit hard your hand with a worried face.

\- Thank God you're okay idiot, don't scare me like that - she says sighing in relief and kissing your head.

\- What happened?

\- You were knocked down and got a broken ankle and blacked out. The doctor said that the x-ray showed a clean breaking and you shouldn't have to worry about it. You can leave as soon as he checks on you to make sure you're completely okay. Once you're clear, you're coming home with me.

You don't even have the chance to reply when she's out of the hospital room asking for a doctor to check on you. Always so bossy.

**Y -Yours**

Her hand fitting perfectly in yours, her happy tearful face with a sweet smile aimed at you, a gasp caught in between the soft melody of the "Crescent moon dance" and a repeated _yes_ as the ring slides flawlessly in her finger and a slow but passionate kiss to seal the deal. Now she's yours and you're hers forever.

**Z - Zipper**

It's late at night when Yuuko comes back home from an award's party. You observe her enter at the bedroom without saying anything and going directly to the mirror to start and take off her makeup. Her look of pure exhaustion it's kind of concerning but it's hard to not get lost in the way the dress fits her figure so perfectly, emphasizing her curves, matching with the green of her eyes, giving her a fierce aura that leaves you completely mesmerized at the gorgeous sight of your wife.

\- How did it go? - you ask, putting aside the book you've been reading at bed waiting for her to come back and see her shake her head disappointed - That bad uh?

She keeps taking off now her jewelry and talking about the night and what happened when she starts to take off her dress, only for her zipper to get stuck and gain a loud complain.

\- Tsh, let me help you love - you say, getting up to approach behind her to help her with the zipper, looking at her through the mirror. You push her hair aside, nuzzling her neck with your nose and leaving a little kiss there to make her smile and begin to unzip her dress. As you slide it down, you leave a soft path of kisses from her neck to her shoulder blade and turn her around, undressing her slowly, letting her dress fall into the floor. You take her arms and place them around your neck, circling it and pull her closer to kiss her sweetly, gaining some giggles and a playful "Suki!", she rests her forehead against yours, blushing almost completely naked in your arms.

You kiss her again and lead both of you towards the bed, laying her with you on top of her and letting your fingers dance across her skin to the melody of her favorite song, memorizing her soft gasps and bright eyes looking right into your soul.

You'd make her forget about everything in your arms, in between kisses, caresses and your love...


End file.
